I heard a woman speak a few weeks ago about the split between the physical and the intellectual in our culture. Specifically, she spoke about the ways in which we repress the physical and champion the intellect. We ignore our need for sleep, proper nutrition, fresh air. We disparage our female (and male) bodies, wishing to look like someone else. And in many of our most respected institutions (schools, churches, many workplaces), we rein our bodies in even further by forcing ourselves to sit still and think, listen, look. Think, for example, of a classical music performance, where any physical response to the music is discouraged and even physical responses, such as clapping with too much enthusiasm or at the wrong time, are frowned upon.
As I was listening to this woman speak, I started to think about how my relationship to the physical has shifted in recent years...since becoming a mother. I am not sure if I can explain why, but I trust the physical more now. I trust my own physical body. And I am understanding more and more how powerful it can be to connect with others in a physical way. This can mean dancing together, walking together, but it can even be as simple as putting my entire being into a sincere hand shake or hug, or making eye contact when I am speaking with someone.
Why has motherhood made these acts feel different?
It could be just result of those two incredible moments of birth that made me understand how amazingly powerful our bodies can be. That seems like the obvious answer, doesn't it? But I do not think that is entirely it.
I think about the way we relate to our children, the way we watch them grow and learn. We interact with them at every moment in both physical and intellectual ways. We are aware of the changes in their bodies, we watch them grow and develop, we know the smallest difference in their digestion or their temperature or their strength. Maybe watching them makes me more conscious of my own growth (both past and present) as well as my own frailty.
This is really just an inkling of an idea. I am not anywhere near understanding it, but nonetheless, I know it to be true. If you can make any sense of this thing that I am trying to say, I am wondering if you might, perhaps, feel the same. I would love to hear what you have to say.
What a lovely, insightful post. Additionally, I think that our children do not have any of these inhibitions, as they do not know the proper rules. They will dance when they feel like it, jump when they are happy, and flail when they are mad. Spending so much time around these automatic behaviors (before we learn to repress them) always makes me more aware of what my body wants to di (even when I won't let it!)
ReplyDeleteYes, Taryn. That is definitely part of it, isn't it? How often do your little ones convince you to do something totally silly that you wanted to say no to at first? They make us practice using our bodies differently every day, I think.
DeleteI too love this post. I have to say that for me, my increased awareness to the physical started one year prior to getting pregnant. And it was for the sole purpose of getting pregant. Because my partner and I were buying frozen sperm and planning an at home insemination, I had to take care of my phsyical body in a new way. Sperm is expensive when you are buying it. And research shows that doing an insemination with frozen sperm (DIY or with a doctor) likely takes 6months to 1 year before achieving pregnancy. But in the moments that followed Avi's first breath in this world, it continued as he was wholey dependant on me for his every need. And now with an almost 2 and 1/2 year old, the physical continues to be in the forefront because I am so much more aware of how I can become a cranky parent if I'm not well nourished or well rested. And I long for the intellect. I began teaching again this fall which has helped this longing to be fulfilled a bit.
ReplyDeleteI think about how we are enculturated to not move during a classical concert. ugh, i say, ugh.
Oh, that is fascinating and such a different perspective than my own. I can imagine that the effort it takes for some women to get pregnant gives the physical a whole new meaning.
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